I had become a chronic relapser, eight years on and off the wagon. Oh, how my brain seemed to want what I knew I could no longer allow it to have. Alcohol had become more than toxic to me. It was killing me. Just as snake venom is used in the production of antitoxins, alcohol seemed to me that it could salve the wounds that it created. Oh, so wrong, the deceptions that addiction created and seemed to want to perpetuate.
Experience had shown me, the Relapse King, that so much as a single drink could set off a chain reaction that would have me passing out at the Underwood Hotel (a euphemism for people living under the Boardwalk). I had become a blackout drinker who continued to drink and drug after the ability to remember how much had evaporated. Quite simply, blackout drinking had become my lifestyle. One drink, a trickle, would soon become a tidal wave. My drink and drug history has proven that to me again and again beyond a doubt.
As heard many times at A.A. Meetings, if one is run over by a train, it is not the caboose that kills you, it's the first car on the train that does the job. The suggestion here is that if you don't have the first drink, you can't have the second, the third or the one that eventually might kill.
By extension, it's the first drink that could kill me.
Let me note here that I am not an Abstinence Only kind of guy. Drink as much or little as you'd care to. I don't prescribe behavior for others. I abstain. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Drink and drug all you want, but I wouldn't advise it,
The beginning of my recovery story is captured in the pictured quote: "Every Recovery Meeting is an Intervention between Me and the First Drink."
A child can drown in a few teaspoons of water. I am that child. Alcohol is that liquid. Even if I'm wrong in that assumption, absence of alcohol has led me to an Abundant Life. Taking so much as a single drink has become an impossibility for me.
Recovery is my new (18 years new!) lifestyle.
"Who could ask for anything more?"
Check out my NEW Non-Fiction, BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery
(Find it on Amazon, Book it here): https://lnkd.in/dkF767RT
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in my Autobiographical Fiction, ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal
(Find it on Amazon. Book it here): https://lnkd.in/esP83n-c
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I hope you enjoy both of my books on ADDICTION & RECOVERY! (Print & Kindle Versions of both are Available!)
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