Chapter 71 Virtuous Cycles Of Progress
"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche
*****
I HAD NO SELF TO OWN as I grew up. Peer Group Pressure worked its magic before I'd even heard the term. "If John or Mary jumped off a bridge, would you?" OF COURSE I WOULD & could & did. As I've said in my book "ADDICTION REPLACED SELF-DISCOVERY."
The true meaning of this Nietzsche quote wouldn't be known for 30+ years after I'd read it in a college text. MY BRAIN IS NOT FOR SALE TODAY, I've paid enough already.
*****
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in this Autobiographical Fiction. Emerge more fully whole.
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche (pictured) opens Chapter 71 (Virtuous Cycles Of Progress) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God." - Helen Keller
*****
"GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC" used to stick in my craw (my gut reaction in my Early Recovery was "too much Phony Baloney"), but having survived my CHEMICALLY-INDUCED INSANITY, I have learned much about myself in Recovery (inescapable, really, in that thorny untangling). The part of the Helen Keller Quote, "I have found myself," reminds me of looking for my keys, only to discover I was holding them the whole time. Not a seeker of Heavenly Mansions, I am content with my feet planted firmly on the Earth and the expansive sky above. All that said, this quote has a great feel to it, no matter how I may differ in its particulars.
*****
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in this Autobiographical Fiction. Emerge more fully whole.
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Helen Keller (pictured) closes Chapter 71 (Virtuous Cycle of Progress) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 72 Insanity's Bouquet
"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
*****
I will not fail this time. I told myself just this after every relapse. Each time I relapsed, it got progressively worse OUT THERE in ADDICTION-LAND. And each time I found Sobriety, I maintained a little longer and became progressively stronger. This is INSANE. I could and would succeed. Others had.
"Insanity's bouquet is not of different colored roses, or different flowers of various sorts. It's a bouquet of weapons, destruction, defense and offense, all wrapped in lies and gin-soaked tears, false laughter, hollowed-out bones. This is insanity's bouquet. Hot steel, cold steel, nothing. I will fill the black holes of my memory with a retrained brain. Live my way sober or lie my way drunk, powerless victim or sober victor. One foot in front of the other."
*****
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in this Autobiographical Fiction. Emerge more fully whole.
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Winston Churchill (pictured) opens Chapter 72 (Insanity's Bouquet) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow... but only empties today of its strength." - C. H. Spurgeon
*****
If Life is Suffering, then Addiction is INSUFFERABLE, INTOLERABLE & UNNECESSARY.
If Life is Suffering, then Recovery is still POSSIBLE, DOABLE & IRREPLACEABLE.
If Life IS NOT Suffering, then ALL OF THE ABOVE are still True.
Anxiety is a Non-Starter. Pause, Plan, Take Action. CHANGE or ACCEPT. Anxiety is Not the Answer.
*****
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in this Autobiographical Fiction. Emerge more fully whole.
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by C. H. Spurgeon (pictured) closes Chapter 72 (Insanity's Bouquet) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 73 This Sober Road
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance: the wise man grows it under his feet." - James Oppenheimer
*****
Concentration on the HERE & NOW is the sure road to the THERE & THEN. I love that Oppenheimer says to grow happiness under your feet. GREEN & SLOW is the way to go. Simple, Subtle, Organic.
Good one, James! Thank you for reminding me. Flip-flops READY to NUZZLE the NOW!
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by James Oppenheimer (pictured) opens Chapter 73 (This Sober Road) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens." - Epictetus
*****
Epictetus, the Greek Stoic Philosopher was born a Slave. I became a Slave of my Addiction to Alcohol. My Drug Fixations left me Twisting in the Wind and Recovery has been my Untwisting. I hear echoes of the Serenity Prayer here. Emotions fueled by Alcohol led me down the road of Bad Choices and Catastrophic Consequences.
Pause. The Middle Way. Breathe.
I'll take "the rest as it happens." Sober.
*****
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Epictetus (pictured) closes Chapter 73 (This Sober Road) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 74 Taking A Breather
"Everything we see hides another thing; we always want to see what is hidden by what we see." - Rene Magritte
*****
MY DENIAL PROGRESSED AS MY ADDICTION PROGRESSED. Behind every Lie, another Lie. Peel an onion, seek the heart of the artichoke, eventually Addiction (the nothing that is) will be revealed, a brain deeply changed from the brain that took that first drink or drug.
And behind Addiction's last lie? Recovery (or death) may be found. And Hidden within that? Hope, a Contented Smile and inside that Smile, Contentment itself. The search outward has become the search within. Whatever may be hidden is in Recovery revealed.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Rene Magritte (pictured) opens Chapter 74 (Taking A Breather) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water and breeds reptiles of the mind." - William Blake
*****
The mind may close in on itself, an IMPLOSION of sorts, a slow and subtle crumpling inward, a different state of mind than either MEDITATION (quiet connection with the world) or ADDICTION (a chemically-induced corrosion).
The mind must open itself to change, to inclusion, to expansion. Hardened opinions form the bars of a prison. The mind seeks freedom to explore beyond the murky waters of stagnation. Explore, unafraid, the new world each moment unfurls. The world is good. Grow with it.
*****
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by William Blake (pictured) closes Chapter 74 (Taking A Breather) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 75 Broken Record
"If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet." - Isaac B. Singer
*****
I called myself "The Relapse King" right up to my eighth year of repeatedly going on and off the wagon. Before that, Bartenders called me "Rusty" after the Rusty Nails I drank. Today, I go simply as Jim. I am an Alcoholic in Long-Term Recovery. I'll stick with that and hope it sticks with me. Recovery is my cup of tea and life is good, Sober as I go. All I foresee? Another cup of tea. Good is good enough for me.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Isaac B. Singer (pictured) opens Chapter 75 (Broken Record) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"The cause is hidden, but the result is known." - Ovid
*****
Like a set of 10 Russian Nesting Dolls, I knew inside each drink I drank I'd find another drink. Others likely called me Alcoholic long before I did. With a certain sense of pride, I eventually thought of myself as a "High-Achieving Alcoholic" until that became another lie I told myself.
Do Nesting Dolls drink before they go out drinking and continue to drink after all the Normal Norm's and Norma's have found their way home?
"The cause [was poorly] hidden, but the result [was] well known."
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Ovid (pictured) closes Chapter 75 (Broken Record) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 76 Selling A Dream, Buying A Nightmare
"Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it." - Viktor Frankl
*****
Viktor Frankl lived through being a Prisoner of War during WWII. His book, Man's Search for Meaning, had been referenced in so many books I'd read from various disciplines that I finally had to breakdown and read it. My seeing it through the Lens of Addiction helped to deepen my understanding. Prisoner of War/Prisoner of Addiction. Perhaps the Analogies are too obvious, but they are also cunningly subtle.
The Subtitle to my book (All Drinking Aside) may help prove my point: The Destruction, Deconstruction and Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal.
No additional clues need be provided here.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Viktor Frankl (pictured) opens Chapter 76 (Selling A Dream, Buying A Nightmare) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them." - Albert Einstein
*****
In my case, the "Same Thinking" Einstein was referring to in this Quote translated into the "Insane Thinking" that goes on inside the head and behind the beady eyes of a rodent on the Hamster Wheel of Addiction. When that Wheel stops spinning, a thoughtful, feeling heart might then begin to emerge, to open the mental windows and sober doors of perception so that bridges back to Sanity can begin to be built. No matter the approaches or methods used, being sober is a prerequisite for remaining sober because, as they say...
"You can't stop drinking drinking."
I don't really know how much my thinking actually created my addiction, but my repeated exposure to alcohol and its effects on my brain at ever-increasing levels of consumption seem to have created the perfect storm for what amounted to a chemical hijacking of my brain. This was not a destination I had consciously chosen. I arrived there in increments until, at some point, I found myself on the River of No Return.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Albert Einstein (pictured) closes Chapter 76 (Selling A Dream, Buying A Nightmare) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 77 Resentment
"The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses." - Edith Sodergran
*****
Inner Fire may be my Heart's Desire, but with Alcohol as Fuel, it Consumed me as it Burned. A False Belief in Chemical Inspiration, my Hijacked Brain went Down in Flames.
Oh, look! How Pretty. Until Pretty Got Ugly, with me, on the Witness Stand, Defending my Would-Be Murderer almost to my last breath. Denial Would Be on Trial, and Alcohol Would Lose.
It's not like that Today. Recovery is my Possible, Doable, Irreplaceable Fuel.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Edith Sodergran (pictured) opens Chapter 77 (Resentment) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy." - Steven Weinberg
*****
This Quote by Weinberg, a Nobel laureate in Physics, takes me back to my High School days when ABC's Wide World of Sports described "the Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat" of Athletic Competition. That reminds me of the struggles of the fisherman in The Old Man and The Sea, and on to Pablo Picasso declaring that "the Reach is more important than the Grasp." Few Victories and many Defeats. Such has been my life, most people's lives, I suppose.
My early-on failed attempts at a sustained sobriety have confirmed that I am but a humble me whose shell had broken. I was a Humpty-Dumpty, Drunk and far from Royalty, but I have survived the unnecessary journey of Addiction with Lessons Learned, a life somehow more complete in spite of (and sometimes because of) my resultant Travails. I am grateful for the combination of Grit and Luck which have left me live to a Ripe Old Recovery Age.
As for understanding the universe, if I may paraphrase Chesterfield's 101 cigarettes, maybe I'm "a silly [little] millimeter" closer than I'd have otherwise been, but that's okay. It's all good. "Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Steven Weinberg (pictured) closes Chapter 77 (Resentment) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 78 This Is Where We Find Ourselves
"Doubt grows with knowledge." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
*****
The more I know, the more I think I know the growing ball of string I've been collecting is no closer to infinite. That may sound deep or close to accurate, but I suppose it is not a statement of Science, Philosophy or Religion. Bar Room talk or Childhood talk, sitting on the Front Stoop, gazing at the Stars perhaps. "Enquiring Minds Want to Know" is Pure Tabloid Trash Talk, but consideration of Source neither diminishes nor expands the Truth of the Thing Expanded Upon (just a guess).
On a complete Tangent, my first thought upon reading "Doubt grows with knowledge" is of Mother Teresa being tormented by Doubts about God (I graduated from a Religious College, but don't consider myself a Christian).
I am tormented by neither Doubt nor Surety.
My Ball of String keeps increasing in Size, but in relation to What, I'm not quite Sure. I'm Sober, so, that Torment Ended - is Enough for me Today.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (pictured) opens Chapter 78 (This Is Where We Find Itself) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity." - George Bernard Shaw
*****
A FALSE INDIFFERENCE, deadened by alcohol, an indifference generated by addiction. Another, another, another drink slowly has been replacing other people, unwittingly, unintentionally, perhaps, but no less real a replacement.
No less real for you, Under the Influence. One sentence ending is the beginning of the next and although I am not drinking, your drinking has strung me out. Can I put a string of lights in the tunnel we're both now in, you drunk, me sober? The tunnel is real and it does have an end, but the light you see at the end of the tunnel is still imaginary because you are still drinking. The pain I feel is not at the end of the tunnel. It is real. It is here. And it seems to have no end.
I must stop calling you you or you might think... What?
I will call you him now. He needs help. He is in a tunnel without end. He is where I once was. I was another him once. There was another drink once.
Once upon a time is now and I do not hate. Once upon a time is now and I am not indifferent. I have found the him that was me and am losing the him that is you.
The Cycle must be broken. I am no longer him. You are no longer you. If I can help you find your first day sober (again), I may add another day to my string of days. It is as hard today as when I was you and now you have become him too.
Walk with me so that we may both become a little less broken.
*****
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#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by George Bernard Shaw (pictured) closes Chapter 78 (This Is Where We Find Ourselves) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 79 A Daily Reprieve
"Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality." - Bertrand Russell
*****
Once thinking that drinking was essential to achieve and maintain the Good Life was never rational, even before my first ever drink. Addiction slowly chips away rationality to reveal itself as what it truly is: INSANITY Accrued on the Installment Plan.
In Recovery I have learned that there are few things I am absolutely certain of needing. After Shelter, Food & Water, here's what tops that list: "Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
To be absolutely certain of anything else, I'll leave that to Religious Zealots & Suicide Bombers.
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Bertrand Russell (pictured) opens Chapter 79 (A Daily Reprieve) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"The older I get the more I trust in the law according to which the rose and the lily bloom." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
*****
Breathe Deeply. Inhale the moment. This is not a Rat Race to some unknown Finish Line. This is Living Simply. I feel water being absorbed from the depths of the Soil and expressed in the blooms of the lily and the rose here.
There can be No Poisoning of these Waters by Chemical Assault. A Sober, Sustained FRAGILITY can be Realized, Felt and Lived.
A more Quiet Life, Chaos Diminished, Silenced, Gone. Smell Freedom. Live ABUNDANTLY.
Add your own interpretation to this Goethe Quote. Find your own Recovery. Smooth your Edges. BLOOM!
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (pictured) closes Chapter 79 (A Daily Reprieve) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
Chapter 80 My Second Insanity
"In quarreling, the truth is always lost." - Publilius Syrus
*****
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Publilius Syrus (pictured) opens Chapter 80 (My Second Insanity) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." - Ovid
*****
*****
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
This Quote by Ovid (pictured) closes Chapter 80 (My Second Insanity) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
