22 January 2022

A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS DIGRESSION THAT DOES WHAT IT SAYS AND IS WHAT IT MEANS...

(Ari Engber)

I will have to elbow my way through the use of too many words to bring this short post to its conclusion.

There will be a point to all this, but if you have read any of my other posts, you already know that the Subject is Recovery and the Object is Another Day Clean & Sober.

It is necessary for me to include the entire lyrics of this less than three (3) minutes song to explain how I was hypnotized by it when I was a mere fifteen years old. Although there may be a comma or a period in there somewhere, to me it is one long, run-on-sentence that if it weren't so tight, it would not be right.

Please bear with me here. 

I am asking you to read each line of this song broken up into the segments that my mind's eye hears (lol, my eye hears!). 

But I digress. 

Please imagine that each short line segment is a single ocean wave slowly hitting the the slightest angle of the beach and then just as slowly draining back into the vastness from whence it came. If you have ever been to the beach, likely you will have noticed the same yourself.

The song is "Ebb Tide."

"First the tide

Rushes in

Plants a kiss

On the shore

Then rolls

Out to sea

And the sea is very still

Once more

So I rush

To your side

Like the oncoming tide

With one burning thought

Will your arms open wide

At last

We're face to face

And we kiss

Through an embrace

I can tell

I can feel

You are love

You are real

Really mine

In the rain

In the dark

In the sun

Like the tide

At its ebb

I'm at peace

In the web 

Of your arms

Ebb Tide."

Easily found on YouTube, if you wish, but it's not necessary. At fifteen, this one song was one long MANTRA, endlessly repeated (if you consider less than three minutes to be endless). Endless in itself, it became even more endless (if that is possible) when I played it over and over and over again. It gave me peace.

The Subject is Recovery and the Object is Another Clean & Sober Day. I wish to remain calm, even in a storm, and I fail repeatedly but get back in that slow saddle which is recovery and proceed forward. This is not "Addicted to Chaos" as one often hears in the Rooms of Recovery. This is the Peace that is Recovery after the Storm of Addiction has passed and...

At Last

You have found

Some Peace

For yourself

That is real

You can feel

That the days

In themselves

Have meaning

Without end.

*****

#Enjoy ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal (This first book, an Autobiographical Fiction, is to be found on Amazon. Book it here): http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
My second book is BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery. Find it on Amazon here: https://lnkd.in/dkF767RT




21 January 2022

(Not ABC, HIJ, or RST) + "SHARED COURAGE" = A Successful Start in Recovery

(boldomatic.com)

Not ABC, Not HIJ, Not RST. I am not a proponent of Atheism, Buddhism or Christianity. I do not advocate Hinduism, Islam or Judaism. I am not a spokesperson for any particular Religion, Spirituality or Theology. 

I am an Alcoholic and Addict in long-term Recovery. with no particular axe to grind (as the Alphabet Soup which opens this post amplifies). I wish to meet any Newcomer to Recovery where they are in the moment. My only Agenda is to help where and how I may. Active Listening is an Art and I am a Novice at the Trade, but the rewards of trying to comprehend exactly where another person stands instead of preparing in my head what to say next has reaped benefits many times over.

Silence IS Golden. 

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without also helping himself." I wholeheartedly agree. If and when I am able to help another, truly, it also, inevitably helps me.

Recovery Takes Courage. Shared Courage is a Process and a Product of my Recovery. I, alone, could not get clean and sober and stay that way for more than one hour, much less one whole day. A solid foundation, roots in the ground, boots on the ground, and wings to fly: These things were not possible for me in my addiction (My Drug-Fueled Illusions would crash many times over before I, with help, found sustained Recovery). 

I do not miss my multiple substances today. They have been replaced by human connection in multiple Recovery Communities. Join in. Take part in your own recovery. It seems to me that life can be so good.

*****

#Enjoy ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal (This first book, an Autobiographical Fiction, is to be found on Amazon. Book it here): http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
My second book is BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery. Find it on Amazon here: https://lnkd.in/dkF767RT


15 January 2022

Self-Denial Fallacy / Self-Fulfillment Fact

 

(thecrcl.ca)
FEAR: Most of my fears about not drinking and drugging before I got sober were based on the false assumption that I would have to live in the prison of Self-Denial for the rest of my life. Sitting on a cot behind the Bars-of-Not-Drinking, I would tick off the hours and days of abstinence, each sober day a punishing and accumulating tabulation of the great hole in my life the absence of alcohol would produce.
NATURALLY, I could go on and on, but this could all be summed up with: the punishment for being an alcoholic was my life would become an absence, a gaping hole where even the possibility of thinking about self-fulfillment would be forever denied.
AFTER 30 YEARS OF DRINKING, my self-will had been hijacked. I had to drink whether I wanted to or not. Explain that to a Social Drinker. You do it. I don't have time at the moment. RECOVERY is my RELEASE from the Prison that is Addiction.
SELF-FULFILLMENT FACT: Every thought, action and feeling in recovery begins, ends and is fully contained in GRATITUDE.

09 January 2022

THE MOST BORING POST I HAVE EVER WRITTEN: My SPINE was TOO BIG and where things stand now, it would BLEED. [I am SO EXCITED!]

 My SPINE was TOO BIG and where things stand now, it would BLEED.

"Sorry to hear that," you might exclaim.

No Worries. My BACK is Fine! It's not MY spine, rather, the Spine of my New Book, "BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery," which would bleed [Bleed is a printer's term for letters extending beyond their intended boundaries (of my book's spine, in this case)]. The Cover was designed to accommodate more pages. As things stood, the spine of Becoming Unbroken would bleed ink from its spine onto the Front and Back Covers. As I neared the end of this almost nine (9) year race to publication, I failed to let the designer know the exact thickness of the finished product (DIRECTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SPEED!).

My first book, ALL DRINKING ASIDE, was created by the most INCREDIBLE DESIGNER. No one but her could possibly design the cover of this second book.

In the process of getting the content of my book's content finally approved by the Publisher, I submitted it with the design somewhere just south of two hundred (200) pages. My first book, All Drinking Aside is 286 pages long, and although I never got a complaint from those who have read it saying they thought it too long, I had a nagging suspicion that a shorter length book would find more readers.

So, I SQUISHED and SLASHED and Edited it DOWN TO THE BONE (never telling my Graphic Designer that it would end up a mere hundred and fifty-two (152) pages rather than just under two hundred (200) pages as I had originally relayed to her.

LONG STORY SHORT:

MY SPINE WILL NOT BLEED,

So, soon you may #read

BECOMING UNBROKEN.

I'm finished. I've spoken.

*****

In the meantime, while you wait for Becoming Unbroken, #enjoy ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal  

Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO 

#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books

Thanks!



 




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