"To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in suffering." - Viktor Frankl
"I am the child of my own addictions." These are the words I reread from a post I wrote in April of 2021. It hits me more deeply now than when I wrote it. The past, no matter how close or far away, can still release us from ourselves and to ourselves.
"The past is history, tomorrow, a mystery" is oft heard in the rooms of recovery. About the highest grade I can give that is that it rhymes. Yippee-Yi-Yo-Ki-Yay. My reality, my truth, is that I was still a child when I became swept up in my addictions: Peter Pan Syndrome, not a recognized mental health condition, captures some of the straws I'm grabbing at (Swizzle sticks, more accurately).
ADDICTION: "Peter Pan in Hell" (I would pay to see that movie).
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps." I was helpless and hopeless when I first got sober. At one point, right before my first period of sobriety, it took me two hours to put on my shoes and tie the laces. No exaggeration. That was my reality. Not too far a stretch from the truth is that 30 years after my first binge drinking episode, I would have to find my way clean and sober and pick up where I left off at 16.
"I am the child of my own addictions."
My recovery would become a major renovation, construction and reconstruction of a 46-year-old edifice (my age when I first got sober). My reward has been an alcohol and drug-free lifestyle.
Viktor Frankl, from the opening quote here, was a Prisoner of War and a Holocaust Survivor. His Search for Meaning was a Primal Force. Through his writing, I've learned to marvel at the capacity of the children Frankl described. They produced artwork on the prison walls in which they found themselves, despite their suffering. Meaning. found beyond suffering, created almost as a way to survive it.
The Myth of Drugs and Alcohol as Instruments of Creation have proved false. For years I thought my creative abilities would be diminished in a life absent of drugs. I am grateful to have lived beyond addiction and to discover drugs were never necessary to improve or inspire my creativity. All Drinking Aside is proof of that.
My Search for Meaning has become Meaning Found.
Alcohol is Liquid. My Recovery is on Solid Ground.
I'm coming up on 72.
"Look at Jimmy. He's all growed up."
Almost.
Always halfway there.
One damned day at a time.
Yippee-Yi-Yo-Ki-Yay.
I'm a clean and sober cowboy.
Hot damn.
I am the parent of my own recovery and sometimes I am the parent of the recovery of others. They are the parent of their recovery and of mine. And we (Shared Courage) grow stronger, less broken with each passing day. Friend, parent, child, comrade, each to all.
Always halfway to perfection (if you're heading in the right direction).
I was the child of my own addictions.
Life is good.
*****
Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in this Autobiographical Fiction. Emerge more fully whole.
ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: https://lnkd.in/esP83n-c
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All Drinking Aside bookends each of its 90 Chapters with Quotes by the Famous, Infamous & Anonymous.
The Quote by Viktor Frankl opens Chapter 16 (You Are Eve Before the Apple and I Am Adam After the Fall) of All Drinking Aside.
Resolve to read it. Explore your own mind within its pages. Check out the 5 Star Reviews on the Amazon page while you're there: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO Enjoy.
This post is a major overhaul of my 04/11/21 post
