"My Fair Lady" vs "My Unfair Addiction":
"The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plain" vs "My Brain is Sprained and Going Down the Drain."
We can make Jokes All Day. And we can make Excuses for Picking Up a Drink or Drug All Night and Day. But there's nothing funny going on here. Nothing.
I have known far too many people who are no longer with us. Instant Overdose Deaths or Slow-Agonizing Deaths. Or anywhere, everywhere in between. The consequences always seem to exceed the imagination. Your Choice.
Geez? I get to choose? (Every time I thought I had a choice to start and stop, one drink, one drug, the train switched tracks, the lights went out & I could not stop, even when I wanted to. Somehow another drink or drug would find a way. And all downhill from there.)
There is Choice in Recovery. There is Life in Recovery. Nowhere Else. Anywhere else IS nowhere.
Why me? Why can't I drink or drug? Addiction is so Unfair. Look, I have relapsed before and lived to tell. I can't deal with sobriety, reality, whatever you want to call it right now. I want to get high now. Just this once. Just tonight. I'll start working on Recovery tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. We all know that. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. How many times have you said it? How many promises have you made? And broken? And made again? How many lies? Apartments? Jobs? Lovers?
"I'm not hurting anyone but myself." Yes, I've told this and other lies to myself (and others) countless times.
My younger sister blew her brains out with a shotgun, pulling the trigger with her toes ("Sometimes suicide's not suicide at all, it's addiction having the last word."). And so it goes. And so it went. And so she died.
How rude! I thought we were going to make light of all of this? I can't deal with this now. Later. Soon. Not now.
Later & Soon become Never & Dead. The Rain is Not in Spain.
I will not have it! You don't know me. Nobody knows me better than myself. I will Control the Flow of Substance to My Brain. I can. I will. Just a little. Just once. I am Strong. I won't fail this time. Not this time. My Brain will not go down the drain.
You've said this all before. You've said that all before.
No more promises, excuses, lies. All said and thought and felt before. And wrong before. Again, again, again before.
Get help.
There is a whole, large world of people in long-term recovery. It is not easy, but help is available. Recovery is doable. Others have done it. You can do this. Remember: The consequences are as progressive as the addiction is long.
Your brain is sprained. Don't let it down the drain.
Refrain. Refrain. Refrain.
*****
This post is in neither of my books. But don't let that stop you.
#Enjoy my first book, the Autobiographical Fiction titled ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal. Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
My NEW, Non-Fiction, BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery, is also on Amazon and may be found here: https://lnkd.in/dkF767RT
Both books are available in Print and Kindle editions.
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