06 January 2019

From #Addiction to #Recovery: #Responsibility Set Me Free

For me, DRINK RESPONSIBLY is the biggest, unfunniest joke of my life. I never, Ever, EVER drank responsibly. Unknowingly held captive, the progressively steeper slope of addiction held me in various states of denial and acceptance. Likely 90% of liquor sales are consumed by 10% of regular customers. I am wanted to believe that I can drink responsibly (and yes, "I am wanted to believe" is EXACTLY how I wish express it.) 
In order to justify my drinking, those oh-so-many years ago, I would sit on a barstool and tell myself that I was free to have another drink or two (or three or more) before heading home (how I got there usually not known). In order to defend my drinking, I told myself that freedom allowed me to choose to have one more for the road.
Addiction is far more than a substance. A complex system of behaviors eventually evolves as the progression of addiction propels one forward (and down and out).
Freedom without restrictions was the only freedom I knew. Freedom without restrictions defined me, became a wall behind which I defended my addiction. Breaking every rule eventually broke me.
I went from feeling powerful behind my addiction (until my tsunami hit) to being a total victim in my addiction. Even in early recovery, I had a relapse or two within a scenario of believing that a period of sobriety would allow me to regain responsibility over my drinking (despite the fact that I never drank responsibly). Of course, not difficult to guess, the chains of victimhood once again confined me almost immediately upon picking up that first drink. Eventually I got it right and now I chose to live an alcohol-free life-style.
Freedom without responsibility is chaos.
Recovery is boundless. Addiction is chaos.
Responsibility set me free.
That's my ticket to freedom. 
Responsible in Recovery.
Glass empty.
A life full of promise.
Promises kept.
Case closed.
#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
You may also enjoy reading ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal 
Find it on Amazon.com here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
Recovery Tweets: http://twitter.com/JimAnders4

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