Trigger Warnings

1) He's So Hungry he could eat a Horse.

2) She's as Skinny as a Toothpick.

3) If I Relapse, I'm as Good as Dead.

Two out of the above Three are Definitely Hyperbole.

The third may or may not be. 

I want to state unequivocally that every time I relapsed, it always got worse. That doesn't mean it would for you or for me or for anybody else again. But for me, the Gun Has Fired Blank Five Times. I refuse to stare down the barrel of that Relapse Gun yet another time.

FAVORITE (?) TRIGGERS (Admittedly, there are millions):

a. I can't do this.

b. I can't cope.

c. Drinking and Drugging are what I know best.

d. I'll show them.

e. I'm so lonely I could die.

f. The future holds nothing for me.

g. Knee-jerk reactions

h. I can't sleep.

i. Fuck A.A. Fuck N.A. Fuck everybody.

j. I may as well use.

k. I can lie my way out of anything.

l. Thoughts of I will be able to control my drinking and drugging this time.

m. The list is endless. Add as many as you wish. ANY EXCUSE WILL DO BUT THERE IS NOT A SINGLE SOLID REASON WHY I SHOULD PICK UP.

n. NONE

These Dozen or So TRIGGERS even have me, coming up on 18 years continuous, pause.

Whatever you do, Don't Pick Up.

There's nothing out there.

Never was.

"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."

"Recovery is Possible, Doable, Irreplaceable."

*****

Immerse yourself in my Descent into Addiction and eventual Recovery in my Autobiographical Fiction, ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal (Find it on Amazon. Book it here): https://lnkd.in/esP83n-c 

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