06 January 2019

From #Addiction to #Recovery: #Responsibility Set Me Free


For me, DRINK RESPONSIBLY is the biggest, unfunniest joke of my life. I never, Ever, EVER drank responsibly. Unknowingly held captive, the progressively steeper slope of addiction held me in various states of denial and acceptance. Likely 90% of liquor sales are consumed by 10% of regular customers. I am wanted to believe that I can drink responsibly (and yes, "I am wanted to believe" is EXACTLY how I wish express it.) 
STOP RIGHT THERE. DRINK RESPONSIBLY. FORGET "THEY" SAID THAT. READ ON....
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In order to justify my drinking, those oh-so-many years ago, I would sit on a barstool and tell myself that I was free to have another drink or two (or three or more) before heading home (how I got there usually not known). In order to defend my drinking, I told myself that freedom allowed me to choose to have one more for the road.
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Addiction is far more than a substance. A complex system of behaviors eventually evolves as the progression of addiction propels one forward (and down and out).
Freedom without restrictions was the only freedom I knew. Freedom without restrictions defined me, became a wall behind which I defended my addiction. Breaking every rule eventually broke me.
I went from feeling powerful behind my addiction (until my tsunami hit) to being a total victim in my addiction. Even in early recovery, I had a relapse or two within a scenario of believing that a period of sobriety would allow me to regain responsibility over my drinking (despite the fact that I never drank responsibly). Of course, not difficult to guess, the chains of victimhood once again confined me almost immediately upon picking up that first drink. Eventually I got it right and now I chose to live an alcohol-free life-style.
Freedom without responsibility is chaos.
Recovery is boundless. Addiction is chaos.
Responsibility set me free.
Do not DRINK RESPONSIBLY.
Rather, RESPONSIBLY, DON'T DRINK.
That's my ticket to freedom. 
Responsible in Recovery.
Period.
Glass empty.
A life full of promise.
Promises kept.
Case closed.
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#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
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"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
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You may also enjoy reading ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal 
Find it on Amazon.com here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
Recovery Tweets: http://twitter.com/JimAnders4

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