Let's face it: My Fears were mostly Known Unknowns.
I knew I didn't want to be known.
I did not know if I would be accepted or if I could accept myself.
I knew I was hiding myself behind my addictions, despite not calling them addictions at the time.
I knew I liked to drink. I knew I liked to drug. I knew I liked to party.
"Here's looking at you," that oft heard toast to an uncertain extent really meant "Here's not looking at me," despite all the I-I-I's detailed above.
Like Renowned Gymnast Simone Biles's Case of "The Twisties," physical and mental deterioration walked beside me in my slow-motion descent into the hell that is addiction.
Here's how Google summarizes Simone's fall from grace: "Biles's competition future was in doubt after she dropped out of the Tokyo Olympics after suffering a case of the 'twisties,' a spatial disorientation neurological problem that forced her to take herself out of multiple events in Japan."
Similarly, and divergently, my Professional Drinking Career came to an end.
Addiction, to alcohol and other substances, was crippling me, if not downright killing me.
Juggernaut or Astronaut, I was good-for-naught and would have to be grounded. No more being higher than a kite searching for the moon. No more blackouts, pass outs and coming to.
Coming to had come to almost dying, almost dead.
No more brief sabbaticals to restore my body for another brief or long-term onslaught.
No more More.
Something so simple as being who you are was not so simple for me after all.
Being responsible came to mean asking for help.
Shared Courage.
No more cases of "The Twisties."
No more bottomless days and empty bottles.
No more Professional Drinking Career.
More courage. Shared Courage. More of this. Less of that. Untwisting "The Twisties.":
"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
Be Responsible. Untwist "The Twisties."
Cheers!
*****
Also #enjoy ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal
Find it on Amazon. Book it here: https://www.amazon.com/All-Drinking-Aside-Deconstruction-Reconstruction/dp/149239730X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NJOTD50MMO6N&keywords=All+Drinking+Aside&qid=1668889292&sprefix=all+drinking+aside%2Caps%2C3803&sr=8-1
#alcoholism #addiction #recovery #books
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