Admittedly, I relapsed on again and off again for 8 years before accumulating 16 years of continuous sobriety. Those first 8 years were instrumental in teaching me how to crawl before I could walk. Today, I stand tall, a realistic humility replacing a 30-year drinking career that with peaks and valleys was heading in one direction only: Downhill, defeated.Alcohol took from me most and more of all it ever had promised to give (a sense of belonging) It was like a bad loan from an unscrupulous pawn broken. It resulted in Destruction on the Installment Plan.Many of my posts, I know, are too long for many seeking recovery to read from beginning to end, so I'll cut to the chase: LIVE SOBER or LIVE DRUNK comes down to Freedom (and its attendant responsibilities) or Death & Destruction.
Admittedly, 8 years of relapse preceded my current 16 years of continuous sobriety. But I had to learn how to crawl before I could walk. A 30-year drinking career did little to prepare me for living sober. I lived alcohol and was addicted to the culture of addiction. I had much to learn, unlearn and relearn.
Shared courage pulled me through.
My brain knew the Grand Canyon of Addiction through which the alcohol flowed. When the alcohol river ceased to flow, my brain didn't know which way to go. A serious blackout drinker, my eventual hospitalizations, detoxes and rehabs (which is where drinking repeatedly took me) were dark and deep experiences.
While still drinking, I listened to no one, not even to my own best advice. Alcohol was in the driver's seat. Let me spare you the details here (find all that in my book, if interested). Let me cut to the chase:
Crawl, as I crawled, if that's what it takes for you to learn how to stand tall and live sober.
Know that recovery is doable, sustainable and irreplaceable.
And if you should ask yourself: "Do I want to live my life sober or drunk?" I would suggest, firmly, that you already know the answer to that question.
Do the work. You are worth no less than whatever it takes to get there.
Sobriety is the only way to fly. Stick with the winners. Share your story and your courage as you journey forth.
Life is precious.