10 June 2018

CANCER Fear / ADDICTION Fear / RECOVERY Fear (# 13 of 50)

"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind." - William Blake
Frozen in Fear, alcohol paralyzed me. Fears were the "reptiles of [my] mind." My continuing recovery from alcoholism has helped me face my fears with courageous acts. For real. Conquering one fear makes other, future fears, a quick study. After 50,000 drinks in my less-than-illustrious 30-year drinking career, recovery has slowly taught me many lessons in sober living.
Truthfully, my cancer diagnosis was not much of a shocker to me. Blasé-Blasé was my immediate response. And so far my fears have been mostly minute, justifiable and basically founded upon my own lack of knowledge (see my post # 5 "The Mystery of the Pulsating Cancer Mask Revealed!"). I would suggest changing the old maxim "A Fear Faced is a Fear Erased" to include "A Fear Traced is a Fear Erased" because often times, simply filling in gaps of knowledge with clinical evidence will buttress our strengths in all departments. Many emotions, by their internal clockwork and perception, feel justifiable, and in a very real sense are. Every emotion is real, in the feel of it, at least. But confronting emotions, especially those we know have no basis in reality, may seem insurmountable and unchangeable at times. We know it is not healthy feeling the way we do, but also know we may need time and help from others to keep us on the path to acceptance and change.
Shared Courage is the term I use to describe the help I sought in order to remain sober. The mutual benefit of sharing with others is universal. Everyone is a winner. It is a lesson well-learned and transferrable to all life experiences, including my cancer diagnosis. I cannot do it alone. No one can. ("No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main" as John Donne so aptly describes it.) Others are necessary, certainly, but not sufficient. We have to take part in our own Recovery. Resolve. I needed to resolve my commitment to continue on my sober path. My strength has been bolstered by bonds of unity with others, the low point of which was the near total severing of all bonds in my addiction. Humanity, my human glue, helped me piece together my shattered self in recovery from alcoholism and recovery from cancer requires these and newer, different and stronger bonds of connection to remain "a part of the main." Drugs, radiation and chemo are essential, but without connection to others, a cure would become meaningless.
Shared Courage, like the flying buttresses on the worlds great cathedrals, is the invisible, indivisible force in my recovery, from addiction, from recovery and from all that life may place in my pathway.
The "reptiles of my mind" can find no breeding ground at the intersection of solitude and belonging. My humanity, when I let it in, repels them.
Trust me, recovery from alcoholism has altered many of my opinions and strengthened my resolve in this battle with cancer.
Strive on.
Share forward.
Life is good.

The 1st dozen (of 50) Cancer / Alcoholism / Addiction posts are immediately below this Thirteenth one on the link provided here (Reverse Chronological Order): https://alldrinkingaside.blogspot.com
(If you're already on the All Drinking Aside Blog page, consider this link part of my Ridiculousness!)
#SurviveAddiction #SurviveCancer #SurviveYourself
Finally, whether it be Cancer, Addiction, Alcoholism, Recovery or All of the Above,
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye... Read All About it, Wherever, Whenever, However!
You may also wish to Explore ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal, by the same author:
An Addiction Fiction & Autobiography-in-One / Check out the 30+ 5***** Star Reviews!
TAKE C.A.R.E. [Cancer / Addiction / Recovery / Emergence]!!!

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