I WAS BORN INTO A FAMILY WITH A HISTORY OF ALCOHOLISM.
I LIVED IN BARS AND OFTEN SLEPT IN THEM.
MY CALORIE INTAKE FROM ALCOHOL OFTEN EXCEEDED CALORIES FROM FOOD.
MY LIFE WAS CRAP.
IT WAS ALL ALCOHOL ALL THE TIME
(see the cat pictured to see where I stole the above from, then read):
The trajectory of addiction, no matter the substance(s), is remarkably similar for many, many of its victims.
I am but an example.
The excerpt, below, contains many pinpoints of the ensuing downhill slope that addiction usually takes. The high points that are predictors of the rock bottom(s) to come, the illusion of power over substance, control over outcomes, ego over reality, emotional distance from the truth, sadly, all here.
I thought I could, but I couldn't.
Addiction is insidious.
The illusion of control nearly universal....
"At some point in what I thought would be later described as a glorious drinking career (I had accepted that I would never stop drinking and I would never let it get worse), I had to up my game by introducing other drugs to improve my skill, my cunning, my power, my control. Once, I was so proud of being admired for being totally annihilated and yet, like a cat thrown into the air, able to land on my feet again. I was a walking miracle. I was the baffling magic man. 'How does he do it?' Everyone asked that. I did not know then that my drinking career would soon make me implode and that eventually, once I got sober, my ego would have me implode again and put a new, first drink into my hand."
The illusion that a period of abstinence will return the possibility of control over substances (in my experience) is laughable.
For me, every drink is the first drink and no drink is the last drink. Experience has proven to me that abstinence is what works best for me. Controlled drinking is my oxymoron.
Today, I am "a walking miracle" of the sober kind....
"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
Passages in quotes are from my book. Explore More ALL DRINKING ASIDE Here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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