01 January 2018

Happy New Year, Happy New Day.... Recovery Holds Sway.

Early in my drinking career, alcohol was the icing on the cake of my social life, something added to make all other things somehow better and special. If you're in recovery (or know a few who are), then you know that's not how it usually ends up further down that road. Alcohol begins replacing things, subtracting, destroying, nullifying. 
Surimi, one of the fictional characters in my book, describes the evolving role of alcohol as an initial embellishment to my life to its villainous role in exclusion of all else.... "Gentlemen, we are pack animals, like wolves. Separated from the pack, the chances of survival diminish. Alcoholism is this disease of separation. The alcoholic needs alcohol to the exclusion of all else. Recovery is largely about rejoining the human race. Connecting with self, reconnecting with self. Connecting with others, reconnecting. Overcoming alcoholism, the Great Excluder.... "
"This disease of separation" - that's gut-wrenching to me now. It's easy for me to forget how pathetic I became, how much it hurt, where it took me. In my early sobriety and after several relapses, I finally realized the importance of others. Today, I realize that most of the insights that inspire me to write come from others in recovery meetings, on-line, from many books and in person-to-person contact. Today, the inspirations of others are a real source of joy, but learning that was a stubborn lesson back then. Addiction was my disconnect and recovery is my reconnection. 
Here's how I'd phrased it, almost apologetically, a few short years ago: "The loneliness of an alcoholic death. That's what many of my recollections boil down to.... Reciprocity is keeping me sober. Sharing with another alcoholic. It really is that simple. I used to drown the loneliness caused by alcohol with (what else?) more alcohol. Solitude seemed an impossibility when a bottle of booze sat next to me.... Loneliness, inescapable. Solitude, unattainable. Sobriety, unimaginable."
That was then, my past life. Recovery has changed all that. I'm leading a fairly normal, happy, sober life now. But I must never forget the loneliness of an alcoholic death, where that first fatal drink might take me.
Don't go back there. Don't go back there. There's nothing there. There is nothing there. Not you. Not even you. Even you. There is nothing but emptiness there.
Breathe in. Breathe out. The flow of life is what it's all about.
Recovery in. Addiction out. Of this, I assure you, having no doubt.
Doable. Recovery. Each breath renewable.
Breathe in. Breathe out. The flow of life is what it's all about.
A different drummer with a different set of drums. Ring in the New Year. Ring in Recovery. Me, We, You, too. Yahoo! Recovery!
Breathe in. Breathe out. The flow of life is what it's all about.
Addiction is gone.... Recovery Song.
Happy New Year. Happy New Day.
"There is no way to recovery. Recovery is the way."
"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
The passages in quotes are excerpted from ALL DRINKING ASIDE: 
The Destruction, Deconstruction and Reconstruction of An Alcoholic Animal http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
Recovery Tweets: http://twitter.com/JimAnders4
140+ Recovery Posts: https://goo.gl/fmzt9b

No comments:

Post a Comment