Take any little sliver of addiction and unintended consequences will smack you in the face. Take this small slice, a character commenting on my near death at knife point, for example:
(): A knife, intended for his throat: the unintended consequences of alcoholism, far beyond the destruction caused by alcohol alone. The effects with no provable cause and effect. The insanity of alcoholism does not operate under the rules of logic, of this cause or that. Unknowable, unexpected heartbreaks and disaster. Collateral damage. Damaged souls drawn to one another. Alcohol consumed. Sanity consumed. Catastrophic consequences inevitable.
This cannot be good. Ever....
... THAT WAS A SLICE, the smallest of slivers of alcoholism and addiction. A wide swath of destruction is left in addiction's path, a debt of debris, physical, mental, spiritual and beyond, that may never be fully salvaged. No matter the origin or reason behind that first drink or drug, once it becomes a habit and transforms into a full-blown addiction, that self-prescribed medicine becomes a menace.
[Sad, little footnote on the knife-wielder's son in the sliver excerpted above: a full decade after what I had assumed at the time would be my life's end, I ran into him at the bus terminal. He was 13 at the time of this incident and 23 when I ran into him this time. Living in the Rescue Mission, homeless, he told me that his mother. who at that time had been my best friend, had died of a heroin overdose. This was the first time I'd seen him in the intervening years. I don't know where his father and two sisters are. It was a 30-second meeting by chance, ended by him getting on a bus. BTW, it was his father who wielded the knife Surimi mentioned in the sliver, above.]
Addiction and alcoholism change everything. Everything. Insert your name, your substance, your family and friends, your everything. Addiction changes... everything. The details don't seem to matter much sometimes. Unintended consequences, lives upended.
Sometimes my memories leave me feeling empty and only recovery can fill that emptiness.
Only recovery. Nothing else whatsoever.
Recovery's Unintended Consequences?
GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE! GRATITUDE!
It took me long enough to answer the question posed in the title of this post, didn't it?
It was a dead giveaway, LoL. Seriously... gratitude.
"Nothing matters more than that we remain sober because when we remain sober everything matters more."
#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
The passage spoken by Surimi is excerpted from ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction and Reconstruction of An Alcoholic Animal: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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