10 November 2016

CONTROL: Desire, Illusion & Loss


The quality of street drugs is NOT controlled. People die every day and hour from ingesting, snorting and shooting up different substances than what they presume they had just purchased.
Alcohol is a controlled substance. In my home state, Pennsylvania, liquor is sold by the state and monitored by a Liquor Control Board. You are certain of the quality and purity of every substance you purchase.

So alcohol is safer than street drugs, right?

Absolutely.

Except for me. It's not safe for me. Presumably never was. A long, hard lesson to be learned. A 30-year look back on my drinking experience has proven to me beyond doubt that it is not safe for me to drink under any circumstances or conditions. Ever. No matter how many decades between sips. Alcoholism and its attendant consequences have been progressive for me. My life always has always gotten progressively worse each and every time I have picked up a drink.

No matter the purity and proof of the alcohol I might ingest, it's me who is out of control when I drink. I'm a blackout drinker who continues to drink, well after my ability to form memories has evaporated. My brain's desire for all else dissipates. Alcohol replaces what alcohol displaces. Illusion, delusion and insanity ensue. The only gain is loss. And loss is all.
After years of sustained sobriety, all street drugs, alcohol and prescription drugs (except as prescribed by a doctor) are off my Wish List, Bucket List and a list of other lists. With no illusion of control over addictive substances, my recovery continues to flourish in their absence. 


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#Alcoholism #Addiction #Recovery
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This post was written by Jim Anders, author of All Drinking Aside, an Autobiographical Fiction, linked here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
Visit his Niume Recovery page here: https://niume.com/pages/profile/?userID=26056 
& find his Recovery Tweets here: http://twitter.com/JimAnders4


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