07 November 2016
My Life When Full Was Empty
Below, a short excerpt from my book, followed by my reaction today:
"Only twice did I ever stand outside a liquor store waiting for it to open, literally sweating those last few minutes before the doors finally opened. Open, damn it! I measured my life in pints instead of hours. Only twice I stood outside waiting. But it could have been (and really was) 10,000 days."
This was my life at that time. Waiting for a liquor store to open merely emblematic of living in addiction. Even when the glass was full, that aching feeling that that would not, could not be enough, made even the fullest of fullest glasses an empty life.
Anyone not yet sober for their first time cannot understand, as I could not, that the most optimistic attitude will eventually be broken by addiction. It's like living someone else's life because your life is not your own.
Until I put down the fullest glass, it would remain for me always less than empty.
Excerpt (in quotation marks)
from All Drinking Aside: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO
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at 9:06 PM